Read it here:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1990/04/endure-it-well?lang=eng
The wisdom of this man never ceases to amaze me. I think we so often hear these kinds of talks in the aftermath of someone's trials, after the speaker is able to look back and reflect, and see what they were taught, but Elder Maxwell was in the midst of his battle with cancer, one that he told Elder Bednar in a visit he hoped that he would not shrink from. It takes a special kind of person to speak such profound and true principles on trials while in the middle of their own and the Spirit is so strong in testifying that this man lived the principles he spoke on. With every analogy he observed about pain, from 'being stretched on a particular cross' to feeling 'bone weary and would much rather pull off to the side of the road', you just know he has been there, for you could not have described it better yourself.
I can only hope to be like Elder Maxwell someday, but for now, this talk spoke peace to my agitated soul. There is something so soothing about hearing the words of Peter in 1 Peter 4:12 as he instructs us to "think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you," and in verse 13, "but rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings." In the end, these trials do make us more like Christ and expand our compassion for what he suffered on our behalf, and that is a hopeful thing to focus on in the pain of the moment. "By taking Jesus' yoke upon us and enduring, we learn most deeply of Him and especially how to be like Him. Even though our experiences are micro compared to His, the process is the same." It is soothing to know this is exactly what was promised in mortality--"a proving and testing experience". It is soothing to know that this is the norm and not the exception. No, God has not forgotten us, or suffered us to experience some extraordinary trial that he has become unaware of. He knows exactly where we are and he knows precisely the purpose for our pain, for he put it there Himself, and He will take it away after we have become what He needed us to become.
"It is God's patient long-suffering which provides us with our chances to improve, affording us urgently needed developmental space or time. If certain mortal experiences were cut short, it would be like pulling up a flower to see how the roots are doing. Put another way, too many anxious openings of the oven door, and the cake falls instead of rising." What a beautiful way to see a trial as an opportunity. Something that came to mind when I heard this was to be patient with myself. To not expect immediate recovery or the instant gratification that the natural man craves, especially in this day and age, where most things can happen in a matter of seconds. To not keep checking that cake or pulling up that flower to see if I have healed or become what I needed to yet, but to let it take its course. Only when I am patient with myself and with God to accomplish the things that need to be accomplished will recovery come. Otherwise those flowers won't grow anymore and the cake won't rise, but fall instead.
"Rather than shoulder-shrugging, true enduring is soul-trembling. Jesus bled not at a few, but 'at every pore'." This made it clear how trials are like an opportunity once again. They are how we become like Christ. They are how we are refined. It is no coincidence that we draw so close to the Lord in the midst of our pains. Although this is true, soul-trembling is truly the way to describe some trials. Elder Holland has said that "Christ knows better than all others that the trials of life can be very deep and we are not shallow people if we struggle with them."
"Sometimes spiritual obedience requires us to 'hold on' lovingly, while others cry, 'Let go!' Enduring may likewise mean, however, 'letting go,' when everything within us wants to “hold on'." I think sometimes it is difficult to recognize which of these we are to choose. We all want to do the right thing, especially when we know we are being tested, and it can take the Lord's timetable to figure that out personally for ourselves, which is of utmost importance.
"Patient endurance permits us to cling to our faith in the Lord and our faith in His timing when we are being tossed about by the surf of circumstance. Even when a seeming undertow grasps us, somehow, in the tumbling, we are being carried forward, though battered and bruised." Just like when we are caught in that giant wave and we can't tell down from up, in the moment it is difficult to determine forward from backwards. If we have to endure pain, we can only pray that it will push us towards progression rather than regression, and I think sometimes it is only when we are able to look back that we are able to see that if we have ever gone backwards it is only by our own choice, for the Lord will always carry us forward if we are clinging to Him.
"Sustaining correct conduct for a difficult moment under extraordinary stress is very commendable, but so is coping with sustained stress subtly present in seeming routineness." Although I have definitely not mastered this, I take comfort in knowing that "the Lord sees weaknesses differently than He does rebellion" (Richard G. Scott).
"By itself, of course, the passage of time does not bring an automatic advance. Yet, like the prodigal son, we often need the 'process of time' in order to come to our spiritual senses. Reflection can bring perception. But reflection and introspection require time. So many spiritual outcomes require saving truths to be mixed with time, forming the elixir of experience, that sovereign remedy for so many things. Without patient and meek endurance we will learn less, see less, feel less, and hear less. We who are egocentric and impatient shut down so much of our receiving capacity." I think one reason that trials are so excruciating is because they come upon the prideful creatures that we are and force us to be humble and to live at the Lord's feet and to rely on no one but Him, for ourselves alone are not enough anymore. They force us to become something and to put our shoulders to the wheel and to just keep going. And sometimes they don't let us progress to the next degree of healing and overcoming until we actively take that time to reflect--until we actively seek out the very "why" to that trial that Heavenly Father has sent this trial exactly for. To stick our feet in the sand and be dragged is so incredibly tempting, and I am definitely 100% guilty of this. And the Lord understands the temptation to do so. But he also expects us to step back and realize there is great purpose in these things, for he does not give us useless or truly harmful experiences. These trials force us to become patient, and if we do stick those feet in the sand, the process will take so much longer than if we used those feet to walk next to the Lord, no matter how slow we feel we may go.
"How could there be refining fires without enduring some heat? Or greater patience without enduring some instructive waiting? Or more empathy without bearing one another’s burdens—not only that others’ burdens may be lightened, but that we may be enlightened through greater empathy? How can there be later magnification without enduring some present deprivation? The enlarging of the soul requires not only some remodeling, but some excavating. Hypocrisy, guile, and other imbedded traits do not go gladly or easily, but if we 'endure it well', we will not grow testy while being tested. Moreover, we find that sorrow can actually enlarge the mind and heart in order to “give place,” expanded space for later joy." It is a hopeful truth to ponder that the greater our trial, the greater our growth. That in the midst of the pain, we can know that it will just make us that much more refined. We can know that it is the necessary payment to cleanse ourselves of the dirt of the world and make room for that joy we so badly yearn for.
"Puzzlement is often the knob on the door of insight. The knob must be firmly grasped and deliberately turned with faith. The harrowing of the soul can be like the harrowing of the soil to increase the yield with things being turned upside down." It is an interesting principle that when things are turned upside-down, they create an opportunity to start over. Puzzlement, faced with faith, unlocks the door to a new perspective. Turning over the soil brings up new soil with new nutrients that can now better produce new life. This is a very comforting principle for me to know that even when everything has changed and nothing seems as it was, there is now so much opportunity for growth that can create hope in a painful situation.
"With spiritual endurance there can be felicity amid poverty, gratitude without plentitude. There can even be meekness amid injustice." This is so incredibly comforting because sometimes when you are in a sorrowful situation, you really don't feel like you can be happy because sorrow and happiness contradict. They just don't seem to be able to coincide. But it reminds me of President Uchtdorf's counsel to recognize that yes, there are sorrowful and painful and hard things currently in my life right now, but I can choose to dwell and live in the parts that are full of light and happiness, nevertheless.
"In a small, but nevertheless sufficient way, we will experience what it is to suffer 'both body and spirit.' Some afflictions are physical, others mental, or so begin. Often, however, they are interactive, forming a special pain." This is one of those descriptions that I could not have said better. A "special pain". Sometimes mental anguish can be so painful that it feels as if it was physical as well. This reminds me of the quote by Elder Oaks that says, "The path of modern pioneers is not easy. Burdens carried in the heart can be just as heavy as those pulled in a handcart." And when these two pains are combined they truly are that "special pain".
"After describing the agonies of the Atonement, Jesus urged us to 'walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and you shall have peace in me.' This is the only way that you and I can avoid shrinking while achieving that peace which 'passeth all understanding.'" It is the "only way." With that it is extremely important to understand what it means to be meek and the definition of it is to be submissive. Not to what others try and impose on you, but what the Lord guides you towards.
I am SO thankful for this talk.
